No ComicCon, just comics

I didn't go to New York Comic Con this year.

It's said that you aren't a true New Yorker unless you have a visceral memory of the way something in the city USED to be. I remember when I could get my ticket to the New York Anime Festival a week before the event and show up with a reasonable expectation of being able to walk like a normal person down the aisles of Artists Alley. Then, NYCC consumed NYAF like an amoeba, and suddenly tickets are selling out 20 minutes after they go on sale. It's like New York looked at San Diego and said, "NO, WE MUST BE THE BIGGEST CON."

Pun intended. They make you pay them to stand in this line.

I've also heard it said that you aren't a true hipster until you can say something was better before it became mainstream, so here I go: New York Comic Con was awesome but now it's too mainstream for me. I'm going to have to make plans for Baltimore Comic Con or ConnectiCon in 2015, because I can't deal with a fan event that's gotten so big that it's a competition just to get tickets.

So where does a New York hipster with an interest in trashy pop culture go when she can't get tickets to Comic Con?

The New Yorker Festival!

Is it a coincidence that the high browiest of the all the high brows that ever browed has its festival the same weekend as Comic Con? Of course the answer is yes. I don't think there's a lot of overlap between New Yorker subscribers and people who stand in line for three hours to play the beta version of Ubisoft's latest first person shooter.

"I enjoy Talk of the Town!"

For me, it was an opportunity to exchange my nerd glasses for my--well, my OTHER nerd glasses. But just so I didn't feel like I was getting too grown-up, I got us tickets to the New Yorker's stand-up comedy showcase. Why spend an hour at the 92nd Street Y listening to Lena Dunham be more successful than me (even though I've got more symmetrical breasts, so take THAT, Golden Globe-winning cultural phenom) when I can listen to misanthropes make jokes about abortion?

I'm kidding, of course. They joked about Ebola.

I adore stand-up comedy. I don't know if you know that about me. (Considering that it's mostly my mom and the BF's mom that read this blog, I'm going to assume you do.)

Here's a yearbook picture of me from the fourth grade. Moms love this sort of thing. Know your demographic!

I jumped at the chance to attend this event because I saw that one of my favorite comics, Patton Oswalt, was going to perform. The BF and I have wanted to see him for a very long time. He did the voice of the lead in "Ratatouille, " which we saw in the theater on our first date. And also he does jokes about food and orgies and he hates New York, so really there's a lot to enjoy.

There were other great comics there, too. I like Marc Maron, though I know his intense self-hatred isn't for everyone. Todd Barry was a real professional, which isn't a back-handed compliment. He had a great sense for audience reactions and knew how to get the most out of negative space (what Japanese musicians refer to as "ma") (in case this review of the New Yorker festival wasn't pretentious enough). I discovered one of my new favorite comedians, Baron Vaughn, who was a last-minute addition to the line-up. You should check him out.

I was disappointed in the female comics they had, I'm sorry to say. I like Morgan Murphy well enough, but there was a producer from the Daily Show who had zero stage presence--she may have actually had negative stage presence, she was laughing at her own jokes and interrupted a joke about Ebola to plead for the audience to donate money for Ebola.

How can I has laugh if I has a sad?

And the other one, oh boy. I didn't mind the standard I'm-a-Jew-and-I-married-a-goy bit--they're classics for a reason--but if I hear one more aging baby boomer talk about how lame my generation is because we wore seat belts and bike helmets and got a trophy every time we took a shit, I'm going to make a Kickstarter to get those jewels from "Logan's Run" implanted in everyone so we'll die before we reach the age of smug hindsight.

But I have so many New Yorkers left to read!

 Where does the generation that destroyed the environment, the economy, and the social safety net get off telling my generation that we're "too careful"? How is receiving a reward for mere participation in a group activity more damaging than raising children to believe they only have worth if they grind the weaker and less talented into the dust?

We're lame? Well, you blew it up!

You maniacs!

Young person rant over. I'm almost 30 anyway, that red jewel would be pulsing like Elmer Fudd's cartoon heart when he see's Bugs Bunny in drag.

I googled "Elmer Fudd in love" and thank GOD it wasn't porn.