Dance Dance Conspiracy

My theory of why people in New York don't seem to dance at the events I attend was that dancing was illegal in most establishments. The Man used the excuse of cabaret licenses to shut down places with too much drugs and gay people.

This is a little paranoid, even for me.

The BF's dad came up with a better conspiracy theory. He says that people in New York are great dancers. They're so good, in fact, that they don't bother to dance. If someone does dance, it's because they're trying too hard to prove that they can, which means that they really can't.

If you spend enough time in New York, you'd know why I believed him until he told me he completely made it up.

So here's the real reason, according to the BF's father, that people in New York don't dance: the venues I go to, Knitting Factory and Siren Festival and Highline Ballroom, they're showcases for Talent with a capital T. The bands that play these events are two steps away from their big breaks, and the people who go to see them play know this. Dancing while the bands are playing would, in fact, be quite rude, because it would indicate that you aren't listening to the music.

"You don't go to the Metropolitan Opera and waltz, do you?" BF's dad asked. "No, you sit and appreciate. Same thing."

So while I'm pleased with myself for creating an elaborate conspiracy involving crooked cops, drugs, homophobia, and dancing, I'm happy to be set straight.

Now I'm off to write the most awesome noir detective story ever.

I missed a flash mob

If you've ever watched a musical and thought, "People don't burst out into song and dance in real life," then you need to watch Buzzfeed.com's Best 10 Flash Mobs of 2009. Take a look at number 3, the Elf Yourself flash mob in Union Square. As soon as I saw this video, I felt like punching a hole in my wall. I was there! And I missed it! I was in Union Square on November 3rd, shopping for clementines and a whole roast chicken, and I saw all these people milling around the subway entrances dressed as elves, but rather than hang around like a sensible person and see what they would start to do, I went about my business and MISSED THE FLASH MOB!

Oh, by the way: A flash mob is when a group of people in a public space suddenly start dancing the same dance. Fans of "Rocko's Modern Life" may remember this happening in the Spring Cleaning episode. "Rehersals were on Tuesdays. Didn't you see the flier?" I get a little choked up watching flash mobs and I don't know why. The impromptu expression of joy? Sympathy for those who had to coordinate such massive displays of cooperation? Memories of May Day at Naalehu School? It's a mystery to me.

Going back to Union Square, I must add that the elves weren't the only weirdos hanging around that day. There were also a bunch of teenagers doing cosplay (dressing up like anime characters) and taking pictures in Union Square. I don't know what they ended up doing, but I missed that cool thing, too.

The lesson learned: if you ever see a group of people all dressed the same milling around in a public space, stick around.