BABY!

Oh, lord, the BF's big brother and his wife had a baby. Get ready to feel all the feelings.

We were down in Washington D.C. this weekend for the baby's naming ceremony and damned if I didn't look at that newborn in my lap and immediately decide, "I WANT ONE!" Every instinct in my animal brain kicked in and I wanted nothing more than to get as many of them as I could and raise them all to be successful apex predators that rule over all the other creatures in the jungle.

This is my biological clock.

Fortunately, the part of me that wears clothes and reads books and folds the towels properly so the edges don't show--the civilized part, in other words--knows better than to get myself a baby right now. What would I do with it? I couldn't even let it sleep in a drawer because my dresser is too close to the radiator and the drawers can't open all the way. If I barely have room for the dresser that holds my socks and porn, I definitely don't have room for a tiny human. No matter how cute and squishy they may be. (So cute, y'all. So cute.)

Plus, as my old friend Dean says, "I thought about having a kid, but then decided I wasn't that hungry."

This is Dean.

Seriously, though, the BS's daughter is adorable. I'm not going to post pictures, because she's too young to have an Internet footprint, but trust me, she's great. The BF and I got her a Totoro stuffed toy and a copy of "My Neighbor Totoro," in anticipation of the day when she's old enough to watch movies. We figured "Totoro" is the least annoying of kids movies for the parents to have to watch over and over and over again, as all children, including myself, insist on doing.

Entirely tolerable.

Also, at her naming ceremony, I got to put the sweater and crown back on the Torah scroll and "accidentally" slap the BF in the face with the scroll belt. Religion is fun!