Statute of Limitations

The cable guy came up to my apartment yesterday to discern why I've been so frequently without the interwebs for the past month. Turns out I had a bad connection down in the backyard of my building, in addition to a faulty circuit in my modem, so now I have a new modem and so much interwebs I feel like I should donate some of it to needy children. But since most children nowadays have cell phones more powerful than my laptop, I'm just going to hoard it all for myself. Hmmmm, fresh interwebs *rub face on screen*

Cable Guy asked me the usual questions about Hawaii. "What are you doing here?" I'm coming up on my two-year anniversary of moving to New York City--July 9th!--and I finally have a snappy comeback.

"I'm waiting for the statute of limitations to expire."

This was the first time I tried it out on another person, and it would have been a lot more effective if I'd kept a straight face, but right away I started to giggle. I have to practice my delivery.