Sunday, December 9, 2012

A few regrettable instances

Here are some--I don't want to say "stupid," because I like to think of myself as a rather clever woman--so we'll just say some "regrettable" things I've done lately, in no particular order:

During yoga class, I was so startled that I actually managed to get into a hand stand that I let my arms collapse and crashed back onto the floor head-first

I got a box of mixed nuts at the grocery store and dumped the whole thing out onto the counter trying to find the macadamia nuts promised on the ingredients label. There were no mac nuts.

I lost my menorah. How does one lose a big brass religious candelabra in an apartment that's smaller than your average Starbucks?

There was some dust in the bottom of a coffee mug, so I blew into the mug to clean it out and all the dust blew up into my eyes.

I called Tom Waits' "Rain Dogs" album "Singapore," which is the name of a single song on "Rain Dogs." I thought Iggy Pop and The Ramones were British. I thought David Bowie was American. And I didn't realize that Iggy Pop is gay--or that David Bowie isn't. (This all happened in a single conversation in the radio station. I may not be allowed to go back.)

I lit a cinnamon-scented candle to make my apartment more "Christmasy" and had to open my window in the middle of a rain storm to get the stench out.

I found my menorah. It was on the window sill.

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